Crazy Quotes

crazy_cow_strawberry.jpgThat moment when you pour a bowl of cereal, realize there’s no milk, so you sit there wondering why bad things happen to good people.

Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life has clearly never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

“Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had”
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

“A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.”
Jim Morrison

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”
William S. Burroughs.

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”
Harry S Truman

“It doesn’t matter how slowly you go-so long as you do not stop.”

“Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.”
Benjamin Franklin

“Some days it’s not worth gnawing through the straps.”

“I used to be sane, then I got better.”

“Whatever I want to be known for I need to be doing.”
Damien Riley

“80% of success is showing up.”
Woody Allen

“Being happy can be hard work sometimes. It is like maintaining a nice home – you’ve got to hang on to your treasures and throw out the garbage.”
Andrew Matthews

“Throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Mark Twain

Tough times never last, but tough people do. – Robert H Schuller

The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them. – Unknown

Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines. – Leroy Satchel Paige

A problem is a chance for you to do your best. – Duke Ellington

I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. – Jewish Proverb

If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. – Mary Engelbreit

When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always get worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better. – Malcolm S Forbes

Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity is a greater. Possession pampers the mind; privation trains and strengthens it. – William Hazlitt

Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity. – Lou Holtz

I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death. – Thomas Paine

If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are? – Unknown

The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity. – Ulysses S. Grant

The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity. – Seneca

Adversity is a fact of life. It can’t be controlled. What we can control is how we react to it. – Unknown

The true test of a person character is how they stand during test of adversity – Unknown

The hardest struggle of all is to be something different from what the average man is. – Charles M Schwab

He knows not his own strength who hath not met adversity. – William Samuel Johnson

In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive. – Lee Iacocca

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them. – Publilius Syrus

One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity. – Albert Schweitzer

“Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?”
John Mendoza

“Good attitudes are magnets for good news. Seen it proven a hundred times.”
Damien Riley

“Don’t confront me with my failures, I had not forgotten them.”
Jackson Browne, These Days

“Being normal isn’t one of my strengths.”
Damien Riley

“They wouldn’t listen to the fact that I was genius.”
Jim Croce, Workin’ at the Car Wash Blues

“Insanity: a perfectly rational response to an insane world.”
R. D. Laing

“I have a grip on reality, just not this particular one.”

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
Albert Einstein

“Don’t let anyone drive you crazy when you know it is walking distance.”

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield

Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, usually do.

Take care of your mental health before it takes care of you.

“There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
Oscar Levant

“Most, if not all, problems brought to therapists are issues of love. It makes sense that the cure is also love.”
Thomas Moore

“Sometimes we reach the boiling point before we realize that the stove is on. Become aware of your feelings – keep your eye on the stove.”
Karen Dougherty

“Words are the physicians of a mind diseased.”

Making one person smile can change the world – maybe not the whole world, but their world.

Saying someone is ugly doesn’t make you any prettier.

The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.

Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.

It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.

As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.

Making a hundred friends is not a miracle.  The miracle is to make a single friend who will stand by your side even when hundreds are against you.

Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.

Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…

If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.

Falling in love is not a choice.  To stay in love is.

True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.

While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.

Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.

You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.

In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

There isn’t anything noble about being superior to another person.  True nobility is in being superior to the person you once were.

Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.

You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are now.

People are more what they hide than what they show.

Sometimes people don’t notice the things others do for them until they stop doing them.
Don’t listen to what people say, watch what they do.

Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.

Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off.  It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can.

Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you.  It takes someone really special to stay in your life and show how much they love you.

Love and appreciate your parents.  We are often so busy growing up, we forget they are also growing old.

When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you.

Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.

When someone tells you, “You’ve changed,” it might simply be because you’ve stopped living your life their way.

Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right.

Be happy.  Be yourself.  If others don’t like it, then let them be.  Happiness is a choice.  Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.

When you’re up, your friends know who you are.  When you’re down, you know who your friends are.

Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems; look for someone who will face them with you.

If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself. That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn’t eat him.

No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.

Many people are so poor because the only thing they have is money.

Learn to appreciate the things you have before time forces you appreciate the things you once had.

When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.

You don’t drown by falling in the water.  You drown by staying there.

It’s better to know and be disappointed than to never know and always wonder.

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.

Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you.  Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within.

If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past.  If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.

What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.

You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

When Walt was younger he was hired to work at the Kansas City Star newspaper. He was later fired from the paper because of lack of creativity. Years later The Disney Company bought ABC which owned The Kansas City Star. How strange that [you are] fired because [you are] not creative enough and years later you own [the same company] because of your creativeness.

“I remember traffic jams
Motor boys and girls with tans
Nearly was and almost rans
I remember this, this

At the edge of the continent”
-Michael Stipe, ‘I Remember California’

“The memories of a man in his old age
Are the deeds of a man in his prime.
You shuffle in gloom of the sickroom
And talk to yourself as you die.
Life is a short, warm moment
And death is a long cold rest.
You get your chance to try in the twinkling of an eye-
Eighty years, with luck, or even less.”
-Pink Floyd: Free Four – Obscured by Clouds 1972

“when you accept everything for what it is without labels you are outside of your ego.”
Eckhart Tolle, “A New Earth”

“Work as if you don’t need the money, love as if you’ve never been hurt, dance as if no one’s watching.”

“Life is a short, warm moment and death is a long cold rest. You get your chance to try in the twinkling of an eye: Eighty years, with luck, or even less.”
Pink Floyd

“It doesn’t matter how inspired your work is if you’re not healthy.”

“A guitar in my house, accessible, is a semi-automatic weapon against the blues.”

“Take it easy or take it hard but TAKE IT!”
Woody Guthrie

“There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness'”

“You should not confuse your career with your life.”

“A closed mouth gathers no foot.”

“Never miss a good chance to shutup.”

“Up to a certain point every man is what he thinks he is.”
F. H. Bradley

“The important thing is not to stop questioning.”
Albert Einstein

“The best thing you can do behind a person’s back?… is give them a pat.”
Author Unknown

“How are we going to “test” our decisions and actions? By correct doctrine?
People of God, in the belief that they are doing his will, are capable
of grotesque and ungodly actions–and they perform them in the name of
God (e.g., Acts 23:14-15). Something’s missing. Not the only test, but a
… sure test is love.” -Chuck Smith Jr.

“Failure is an event, never a person.”
William D. Brown

“The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune.”

“Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults.”
Benjamin Franklin

“I hate a song that makes you think that you are not any good. I hate a song that makes you think that you are just born to lose. Bound to lose. No good to nobody. No good for nothing. Because you are too old or too young or too fat or too slim too ugly or too this or too that.”
Woody Guthrie

Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But
to be angry with the right person, to the right
degree, at the right time, for the right purpose
and in the right way… that is not easy.
– Aristotle.

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you
will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
– Chinese Proverb.

Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more
hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.
– Seneca.

The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
– Seneca.

For every minute you remain angry, you give
up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
– Buddha.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad
– Will Rogers.

Speak when you are angry and you will make
the best speech you will ever regret.
– Ambrose Bierce.

Consider how much more you often suffer
from your anger and grief, than from those
very things for which you are angry and
– Marcus Antonius.

Do not teach your children never to be angry;
teach them how to be angry.
– Lyman Abbott.

How much more grievous are the
consequences of anger than the causes of it.
– Marcus Aurelius.

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help, and what he cannot help.
– Thomas Fuller.

When a man is wrong and won’t admit is, he
always gets angry.
– Thomas Haliburton.

There was never an angry man that thought
his anger unjust.
– St. Francis De Sales.

Anger is what makes a clear mind seem
– Kazi Shams.

No man can think clearly when his fists are
– George Jean Nathan.

“I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own.”
Coldplay (Viva la Vida)
Care deeply..give freely…think kindly…act gently and be at peace with the world.

Even if your blog does manage to bring you and other people a lot of money, ultimately it is only the standards that you set for yourself that should determine your success.
Michelle Stein, Blog Author of “It Might be Love”

“How to become a Greek scholar: Enroll in Greek 1. The same is true of learning blogging and the internet. No shortcut exists.”

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
Dale Carnegie

“We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.”
Spider Robinson

There is science, logic, reason; there is thought verified by experience. And then there is California.
Edward Abbey

“Never be ashamed to make goals that are glaringly simple. You’ll be far better off than most who don’t set goals at all.”
Damien Riley

“The greatest tragedy in life is not death; the greatest tragedy takes place when our talents and capabilities are underutilized and allowed to rust while we are living.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.”

“Our lives are co-authored in dialogue.”
Michael P. Nichols, Ph.D.

Joy is not in things; it is in us.
Benjamin Franklin

May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart!
Eskimo proverb

Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.
Anthony Robbins

“Learn how to find peace between the things that happen.”
Susan Riley

“The past is a dream, the future never comes, the “now” is all we have.”
Eckhart Tolle (Paraphrased)

off-beat adj. Slang “Not conforming to an ordinary type or pattern; unconventional: offbeat humor.”
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

“To define your own value for your blog is to declare independence from parent companies like Google that thrive by assigning value as they see it.”
Damien Riley

“Unless you try and do something beyond what you have mastered, you will never grow.”
C.R. Lawton

“Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.”
Carl Gustav Jung

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
Dr. Suess

“Love is a temporary form of insanity”

“One man’s insanity is another man’s vision.”

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
Mark Twain

“He who asks a question is a fool for a minute; he who does not remains a fool forever.”
Chinese Proverb

“Don’t worry about what people think about you–the chances are they seldom think about you at all.”

“Calm and happiness is not something that evolves or happens automatically, it’s a practice. Whether it’s Yoga, or sex, or writing a blog post, or playing guitar.”

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
Albert Einstein

“I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.”
Wilson Mizner

“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge.”
Daniel J. Boorstin

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”
William Arthur Ward

“If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake.”
Frank Wilczek

“You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.”
Eric Hoffer

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Albert Einstein

“Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.”
Alfred A. Montapert

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
Bill Cosby

“Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.”
Spanish Proverb

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Oscar Wilde

“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.”
Harold Stephens

“It is easier to fight for ones principles than to live up to them.”
Alfred Adler

“I hear: I forget / I see: I remember / I do: I understand”
Chinese Proverb

“Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most.”
Unknown Author

“The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself.”
Wallace Wattles

“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.”
Barry LePatner

“When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.”
Abraham Lincoln

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
Winston Churchill

“If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.”
Joe Martin

“Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.”
Ambrose Bierce

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Noel Coward

“The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”
Will Rogers

“You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”
George Burns

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
Groucho Marx

“Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.”
Groucho Marx

“Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.”
Sam Levenson

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”
Calvin Trillin

“The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.”
David Richerby

“My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”
Garry Shandling

“I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.”
Jack Benny

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
Lily Tomlin

“If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.”
Mel Brooks

“If I only had a little humility, I’d be perfect.”
Ted Turner

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
Henny Youngman

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”
Groucho Marx

“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”
Mark Twain

“My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.”
Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”
Albert Einstein

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”
Harry Truman

“A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.”
Martin H. Fischer

You cannot change what you refuse to confront.

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

Don’t think of cost.  Think of value.

Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.

No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.

If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so.  Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.