This post is from a series I wrote hear a few years ago here called Coffee Vocab
This morning I forgot my coffee right in the machine as I sneaked my way out the door to escape my forlorn 2 year-old as she unknowingly ate her cereal. I realized halfway down my street I had forgotten something (ohhh THAT feeling) and when I figured out it was my COFFEE! Fuhhget about it, as they say in New York, I had to get a Starbucks. Even though the watery $1.10 truck stop coffee is OKAY and surprisingly leaded, they never make it thick as mud as I do at home. Mine is so thick in fact my wife, a slightly more tender coffee drinker, uses my grinds the second pour through for her mild “Sarah” blend, you might call it (along with a truckload of Splenda). SO . . . for these reasons, I stopped along the side of the highway at a Starbucks, opting in for the $1.65 cup model, right off the line! I entered the place and it smelled amazing. Immediately I got my bank card out and got in what looked like a short line. Oh how looks can be deceiving.
The 50 something in front of me had that grouchy, haggard look about him. I could see he had a “Circuit City” nametag. I thought about asking him for some credit to buy a big screen but I am glad I didn’t. He ordered his stuff in the following manner (I am paraphrasing):
Hi. I want a bagel toasted but not too much. Don’t burn it okay? Can you do that? Are you sure, because I’m not gonna pay for it if it’s burned.
He ordered his drink and asked for extra caffeine (? is that annoying as hell or is it the ex-baristo in me?) Then as it turned out, he was a dime short. He proceeded to ask everyone, including me, for a dime. When they didn’t have it he yelled:
Well shit! I will go get the f-ing dime in my car as my bagel gets cold.
Oh life . . . isn’t it fun among these caffeine deprived people down here on Earth?
This guy was a grouch. Note to self: deal with caffeine withdrawals before you order in public. Not that I would ever be this much of a grouch, but ya never know how you look before the big “C” on those special special mornings (like I was thankfully NOT having this a.m.)