Onlne Diary: ‘Health: My Private Challenges’

diabetes-blood-pressure-medictionI felt like posting a rant today. I don’t talk about my health issues much but today for some reason it feels right to. I think I am everywhere I want to be right now at age 47 except my health. I never though high blood pressure would darken my doorway. Since I started on medication, I figured it would be easy to manage but alas it’s not. That was 8 years ago.  still dread the doctor’s office. I hat sitting down as they put that damn cuff on me. If I’ve been working hard at it, I’ll get a good reading like 122/79. If I’ve been eating bad, not exercising and such, it can be as high as 152/85. So depressing.

I wish I could have done something about this when I was younger. Now the doctor wants more tests. He wants to see if I am not diabetic. Well, they’ve been telling me I’m as risk for it so long, I figure they might as well just take their best shot and stop beating around the bush. They tell me they always start with pills. Great more pills.

Blogging and career wise, I couldn’t be happier with where I am. I’ve worked hard for many years to get here. Now I have to work to make the appointments and keep the appointments in between doctors retiring, quitting, and stuff like that. When you get sick you really see how messed up our system is. It makes you feel like an outcast. I think doctors prefer healthy people. They get their 200-300 bucks for a 10 minute visit and move you out. When I can clear my head I think I am poised to write my greatest stuff and bet the best teacher I have ever been. It’s the clearing the head with the medical stuff going on that is the real trick.

Then sometimes I think: I’m 47 now. How is this all gonna be when I’m 57? 67? and up I’ll roll with it. I always do. Your life is a sort of art project, managing it: your private challenge. It’s not about what I do to manage my health challenge, but rather what I do after its managed like teaching, and blogging, and podcasting, and being a great dad and husband. That’s the only stuff people see.

Author: Damien Riley

I'm an online diarist, blog film critic, & podcaster. My views on films and life are often 'left of center' on, but I have respect for other viewpoints. I married my high-desert princess (now my queen). We have 3 children.